


With This Ring

by ebbj9891



Series: In Quest Of Something [39]
Category: Queer as Folk (US)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fluff, M/M, POV Brian Kinney, Parent-Child Relationship, Parenthood, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-27
Updated: 2014-05-27
Packaged: 2018-01-26 18:44:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,900
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1698701
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ebbj9891/pseuds/ebbj9891
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gus wants to see Brian and Justin's wedding rings. Brian is only too happy to oblige.</p>
            </blockquote>





	With This Ring

"Open the door, open the door, open the door, open the door! Daaaad, open the door!" Gus yelps, tugging on my sleeve. I manage to unlock the door between tugs and open it wide, making way for him to bolt inside the apartment. Ditching his backpack, which is probably proving cumbersome, Gus shrieks and squeals, "I'm _home_!"

Then he starts running around even faster, throwing in a cartwheel here and there for good measure.

"You're home?" I follow him inside, watching in amusement as he runs in circles around the living room. I don't know if Linz and Mel would be too happy to hear him call this place 'home'.

"This is my home away from home," Gus explains, coming to an abrupt halt in front of me. I kneel down and help him out of his jacket. "My New York home. It's really cool to have two homes, you know. Ruby thinks it's awesome - I have two dads and two moms and two homes. Cool, huh?"

"Very cool," I agree. "So what do you want to do today, Sonny Boy? Your choice. Anything you want to do."

Gus grins at me and glances between me and the hallway leading to the bedrooms. "I want... to jump on the bed!"

Then he runs full-pelt down the hallway and hurtles himself onto my bed, where he sprawls out, then starts rolling around. "Dad, your bed is  _huge!"_

I cough to cover a laugh and suppress my automatic urge to make a completely inappropriate comment. I pick his backpack up off the floor and go to join him. Gus crawls to his feet and starts jumping on the bed, leaping from the head to the foot, then from left to right.  

"That looks like fun, Sonny Boy, but I thought we could go out today. How does that sound?"

"Good!" He takes a particularly big jump and belly-flops onto the mattress. Then he hops right back up and bounces diagonally across the mattress.

"We can go anywhere and do anything. Any ideas?"

Lunging from left to right with his arms in the air, Gus exclaims, "I want... to see a movie!"

"Sounds good. With popcorn?"

"And cotton candy!" He starts hopping in circles. "And ice cream and soda. Can we, dad? Please?"

"Anything you want." I set his backpack down and rifle through it, checking he has everything he'll need for the day. I remove the gloves and scarf Linz has packed - it's not cold enough here yet for those.

"Can Justin come?"

"Justin's working today," I say, bracing myself for a potential meltdown. "He'll be home to make you dinner, okay?"

"'Kay," Gus says, smiling. Crisis averted. Then he eyes me mischievously and grins. "Catch me?"

I hold my arms out and he bounces himself off the bed in my direction. I catch him and hug him close as he giggles. 

"Why don't we head out and see what's on at the movies? Maybe we could even make it a double feature."

"You're the _coolest,"_ Gus shouts, grinning ecstatically. "But first you have to keep your promise."

"What promise was that?"

"When you and Jus visited last time, you said I could see your rings," he says, actually batting his eyelashes at me. The kid's going to be a heartbreaker, or an evil genius. Or both. "Can I please see the rings, dad?"

I laugh and carry him over to the mantle across from the bed. "A promise is a promise, kiddo. Here they are."

"Where?" Gus asks, his eyes scanning the mantle excitedly.

I point to the box, nestled between one of Justin's sketches and a photo of us from when we went to Mardi Gras. "Go on, have a look."

Gus reaches out and, using an uncharacteristically delicate touch, picks up the box. He holds it tenderly in his palm. "Can I open it?"

"Here, let me," I carry him over to the bed and sit down with him in my lap. He snuggles close and holds the box up to me. I open it, revealing the two rings. He gasps. "Like 'em?"

"They're pretty," Gus whispers with reverence. "Can I see them?"

"You see with your eyes, Sonny Boy," I say, crossing mine. Gus shrieks with laughter, doubling over in my arms. 

Once he's recovered, he wiggles his fingers and asks, "I meant can I _touch_ them? Pretty please?"

"Of course you can." I watch as he plucks them out of the box, slipping Justin's onto his left index finger and mine onto his right. "They're a bit big for you, huh?"

"Yeah," he scrunches up his face. "On me they'd look like mommy's earrings."

He holds them up to his earlobes, smiling. "See? Don't I look fancy?"

I laugh and poke his nose. "Very fancy."

Gus giggles and slips them back onto his fingers. "They're real heavy. And _really_ pretty."

"I'm glad you approve," I say, tussling his hair.

Gus chews on his lower lip, staring intently at the rings. "Which one is yours?"

"This one," I point to the one on his right finger. 

He looks up at me with big, blue, curious eyes. "Can I see it on you?"

"Sure." I take the ring from him and slip it onto my ring finger. Gus grabs my hand and turns it back and forth, making the ring glint in the light. He smiles. 

"It looks beautiful on you, dad. Will you wear it today?"

"All day?"

"Please?"

"You remember what Justin and I said, right? About not wanting to be husbands? About just being-"

"Partners," Gus finishes, nodding happily. "I remember. But wouldn't it be nice to wear it?"

He holds up my hand for me to see. "It looks so nice on you."

It does. It's not the first time I've worn it, and I doubt this will be the last. After Justin left for New York, there were several nights where paranoia won out and I became convinced he was through with me. After all, how could I compare to New York? Why would he ever want to come back to me after conquering the greatest city in the world? What was to stop him from growing tired of me, or realising I wasn't enough, or meeting someone else, or just... forgetting me?

These were the nights I confined myself to the loft, walling myself up with my absurd anxieties. My first instinct was to isolate myself - from my friends with their accusing stares and bullshit concern, from Deb and her endless needling, and especially from other men who seemed so absolutely fucking inferior to Justin. My second instinct was to drink, and drink I did. I'd sit in the loft grieving a loss that hadn't even happened yet, and which I should have known was never going to happen. But I grieved, and I drank, and eventually there came a point where I was full of enough alcohol and self-pity that I'd pull out the rings and put mine on. I hated myself for it a little, but it made me feel better. It felt right.

When I decided to move to New York, they were the first thing I packed. That was a mistake - I had to check and recheck my luggage about fifty goddamn times to make sure they were still there. At Justin's apartment, I stashed them in the back of one of the drawers he cleared out for me. Then when we finally got our own place, I set aside room on the mantle. I remember us being in bed one night, when Justin noticed the box. He got out of bed, naked and drenched with sweat, glistening in the moonlight coming through the windows. I watched him pick the box up and turn it over and over in his hands, eventually flipping it open to gaze at the rings. "You still have them," he said, smiling. "You kept them." I didn't say anything; I was content to lie there and watch him - naked, bathed in moonlight, hair a mess, holding our rings in the palm of his hand. What I meant to say and what Justin probably knew I wanted to say was, _Of course I kept them. They're too important to let go of. They're ours._

And it still feels so incredibly fucking right to be wearing mine. I don't know what that is, I just know that it... is.

"I love this ring," I confess to Gus, in a hoarse whisper. He rests his head on my shoulder, staring at my hand dreamily. 

"Please will you wear it? Just for today. Just to the movies. Just until Justin comes home. It'll be like he's with us even if he's not."

There it is, perfectly summed up by my eight-year-old. These rings aren't about marriage. They're about us. They're about Justin and how much he means to me. I smile and kiss Gus' forehead. "You get me, kiddo."

He beams at me. "So you'll wear it?"

"I sure will." I take Justin's ring from Gus and place it safely back in the box. "Let's put this back on the mantle. Gotta keep them safe."

I scoop him up and carry him back over to the mantle. Gus carefully places the box in its spot and whispers, "They're special to you, huh?"

"Very," I admit. I nuzzle his hair. "They mean a lot to me."

"Like Justin," he says, the clever little thing that he is.

"Like Justin," I agree. "And like you."

Gus throws his arms around my neck and hugs me tight. Then he grabs my hand and runs his finger around the circumference of the ring, very gently. "With this ring, I... partner thee. Do you take Jus to be your partner?"

"I do."

"JUSTIN!" Gus yells at top volume, laughter bubbling out of him. "DO YOU TAKE DAD TO BE YOUR PARTNER?"

"I don't think he can hear you from all the way over at his studio, kiddo."

"It's okay," Gus shrugs, giggling. "I know he'd say 'I do' too. I pronounce you partner and partner. You may kiss your partner... tonight. When he's home."

"I'll be sure to do that." I kiss the top of his head, then set him down. "If we're going to have a day at the movies with popcorn and cotton candy and icecream  _and_ soda, we'd better go now."

"Let's go," Gus agrees, taking my hand. I grab his backpack and sling it over my shoulder, then lead him out to the elevator. We get in and I let him press the button for the lobby.

Outside, the weather's perfect and the streets are busy. I kneel down and let Gus climb up on my shoulders. He's all too happy to jump up, and sits there contentedly as I walk us to the cinema.

"Dad?"

"Yeah?"

"Gimme your hand."

"This one?" I hold up my right, smirking.

"No!" Gus laughs. "You silly. Your ring hand."

I hold up my left. He grabs it and knots his tiny fingers through mine, then presses a big kiss to the ring. " _Mwah!"_

I laugh and tickle his leg. "What was that for?"

"I love the ring," he admits. "I think you should wear it more."

I glance down at my hand, admiring the ring, thinking of Justin, feeling my heart swell. "You and me both, Sonny Boy. You and me both."


End file.
